All rights are reserved to the authors. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronically, mechanically, by photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without prior written permission from the copyright owners.

Suitable for ages 13+.

The following is a work of fiction. All names, characters, incidents, and places are either the product of the authors' imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business enterprises, or locales is entirely coincidental.

      Irregardless
 

At some point or another, most of us have been reprimanded for using words which have known meaning to the population at large, but are considered slang by stout English linguists. Perhaps it is time for a change. Thanks to The Fictionary, we can now breathe a sigh of relief. One may ask what is The Fictionary?

The Fictionary is derived from the words fiction and dictionary; it attempts to optimize the transitional phase of our language in a somewhat less ambiguous and with a touch of complacency, if we may add.

Have you ever wondered how such slang words evolved in the first place? Well here is our dire attempt to explain.

Thunder and lightning erupted, illuminating the waters of Lake Erie. The storm broke suddenly, without any forewarning, trapping a ship within the turbulent waters. The waves rose higher and higher, theatening to capsize the vessel. Fear gripped the sailors. The captain on board hoped to ride out the waves until help arived. He stepped into the cabin below to radio in their location and try to get help.

The storm wreaked havoc, causing static with their reception. The captain had a difficult time understanding what the gentleman at the main dispatcher was stating. Every second counted and the captain realied they had to abandon their position and sail off to calmer waters. The dispatcher had inquired if they remained secured, but the captain did not hear the question and shouted, "Erie guard less," trying to forewarn the dispatcher that they were leaving.

The dispatcher interpreted the captain's answer as irregardless, meaning without protection. Thus a new word we may now be added to our fictionary.